What my MOM taught me:
1. My mother taught me to appreciate a job well done.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me religion.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about time travel.
"If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me logic.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me more logic.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
& nbsp; You are not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me foresight.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me irony,
"Keep crying and I will give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of osmosis.
"Shut your mouth and eat your dinner."
9. My mother taught me how to be a contortionist.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about stamina.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about hypocrisy.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
12. My mother taught me about anticipation.
"Just wait until we get home."
13. My mother taught me humor.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
14. My mother taught me about my roots.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
15. And my favorite:
My mother taught me about justice.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."
I want a mother like this one...
ReplyDeleteHe, he, don't you just?
ReplyDeleteAll are true. My mother told me that she would NEVER wish that I would have children that acted like me because she didn't want her grandchildren to behave like that!
ReplyDeleteHehe this reminds me of my mother!
ReplyDeleteThis is SOOOOO true!!! Little quips like these were passed down more easily than family recipes. Often, I find myself repeating things my mother used to say to us then banging my head against the wall because at age 12 I made a solemn promise to myself that I never would!!
ReplyDeleteBrings new meaning to the idea of the 'circle of life'.